I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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