Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize