I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize