I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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