she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
