So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He shit in the fireplace
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
