i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
