direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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