I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
