so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize