whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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