Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
