Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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