and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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