i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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