brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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