Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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