Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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