Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
