if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize