just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
So here I am, sexting at work.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
