I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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