haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
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I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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