Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
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Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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