i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
