i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Your cock deserves a montage
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
