At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
two words...techno handjob
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
