I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Houston, we have a squirter
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
