ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
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