Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
