In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
