i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
