What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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