Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
no, he came in my armpit
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
