You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
