don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize