the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
