Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
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Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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