I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
