weddingsv make me drug and hornr
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So much Jack, so little girl.
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