I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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