Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
