i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
