Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
