I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
