4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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