Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
