i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize