I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
