your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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