Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
