She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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