I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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