I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
