Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Say something about gay babies.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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