Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
