yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
