I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He shit in the fireplace
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
