She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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