If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
