There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
