Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
